"Holiday Hold It" (R. Picard / P. Ellison, Unicorn Factory/Hot And Awkward Music, ASCAP)

Don't think about the faucet you can't turn off
Don't think about a waterfall splashing on the rocks
Don't think about the sprinkler on a hot summer day
Just stop wiggling and try not to sway

The line's really long (like really, really long)
You're gonna have to need to hold it forever
The line's moving slow (like really, really slow)
Take a deep breath and keep it together

Don't wet your pants on Santa
Hold it 'til they snap that pic
Uh-oh! Can't let anybody know
Don't pee your pants on Santa
I promise it'll end real quick
Uh-oh! You've really gotta go

Don't think about the shower you took this morning
Don't think about the ocean or rivers (so boring!)
Don't think about letting just a little bit out
You've got to just hold it and try not to shout

The line's really long (like really, really long)
You're gonna have to need to hold it forever
The line's moving slow (like really, really slow)
Take a deep breath and keep it together

Don't wet your pants on Santa
Hold it 'til they snap that pic
Uh-oh! Can't let anybody know
Don't pee your pants on Santa
I promise it'll end real quick
Uh-oh! You've really gotta go