Holiday Party Tips!

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With the holiday season rapidly approaching, here are some tips to help you stay relaxed, keep your guests entertained, and most importantly, have fun!

1. Being a good host means making sure people are mingling! When introducing two people, always give a fun fact about that person as a conversation starter. If you don’t know anything about the people you’re introducing, just make something up, such as “Karen, meet my friend Shandy! She collects laser-engraved crystal Pegasus plates” or “Paco, this is my dear friend Beth. Did you know she invented pipe-cleaners?”

2. If you’re feeling insecure about your spread of appetizers and snacks, try doubling or tripling the amount of booze available. Everybody will be so drunk that they won’t know they aren’t having a great time!

3. Always have an exit strategy.

4. If you find that you aren’t getting a lot of RSVP’s for your holiday parties, try being more charming and attractive.

5. Eventually, every party naturally winds down and comes to an end. Your job is to prevent this from happening for as long as possible! If you see your guests yawning and reaching for their coats, hit them with this one two punch: hand out fresh cups of coffee and bring out the most complicated board game you own. Preferably something with lots of tiny pieces.

6. Guilt is a great motivator. If any guest seems hesitant to participate in a particular activity, remind them exactly how long it’s been since they’ve last been over to your house. “That’s right, Sally, it won’t kill you to play another round of gin rummy, will it? WILL IT?”

7. If things start getting dull, pick one particular guest and single them out for ridicule by making them wear a ridiculous holiday-themed hat. Insist this is tradition.

8. What party would be complete without a soundtrack? When compiling a playlist, keep everybody on their toes by only playing b-sides from well known artists!

9. If you find that you not a lot of people are interacting with you at your own party, you can entertain yourself for hours with a book of Sudoku.

Love,

Pete

Fun Facts!

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The following are facts that are TRUE and in NO WAY MADE UP:

DID YOU KNOW???
…There are over 500 songs!
…If you re-arrange the letters in the word “aspartame,” they’re pretty much useless!
… beeswax makes an excellent substitute for erasers!
… North Dakota has more wild ferrets than any other state!
… over 9/10ths of people 50% of the time are 25% more likely than 2/3rds of the population!
… cat spit can liquefy some forms of plastic!
… Ancient Greeks are responsible for more bad puns than any other group of people in history!
… Dorothy Parker was never a contestant on “The Match Game”!
… the last Nigerian Prime Minister was one treated for an addiction to Nilla Wafers!
… your small intestine is the cleanest part of your body!
… dryer sheets work by coating your clothing in a very thin layer of calcium!
… it’s always Tuesday somewhere on the planet!
… in order to keep them upright, bowling pins are filled with rice!
… lightbulbs work by using thousands of very tiny magnets and mirrors to reflect the light of the sun!
… hangnails are caused by static electricity!
… coffee weighs less than any other liquid in the world! Even water!
… your mother is visiting next week! You better clean the fridge!
… The sun is the very last star in the whole universe!
… Koalas are can learn to hula-hoop better than any other animal!